Now I feel like I owe a bit of an explanation... We took the last few weeks off for finals. It didn't feel right to rest solely upon our amazing ability to recall details and just slack off while the rest of our classmates were busting their humps studying. Plus, you know, we're kind of lazy.
So, with that out of the way...
Hand dryers. You know the ones. The ones that sit in the bathroom, mounted on the wall? The ones that sound like a jet plane taking off every time you push that chrome button? Yes. Them.
*click* Whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
They're worthless.
Yes. I mean it. Worth. Less.
Why? Simple. They don't work. When was the last time you used one of these suckers and didn't end up just wiping your hands on your shirt/pants and calling it a day?
You know how I use these things? I dry my hands on my shirt and then use the dryer to dry my shirt out. Works like a charm.
But just using the hand dryer for the purposes of drying your hands? Time-consuming and worthless. The average hand dryer takes 45 seconds to get hands completely dry. 45 seconds. I try to get in and out of restrooms in less time than that. I don't want to spend nearly a minute huddled around some miniature jet engine like a hobo huddled around a steel 55-gallon drum for warmth all in the name of not having wet hands.
Notice I said nothing about sanitary hands. The goal of washing your hands, generally accepted, is to remove harmful bacteria and blah blah blah. Well, air dryers take that goal and drive it into the ground like a Russian-made commercial airliner. How? Because these things, contrary to logic, don't sanitize hands. If anything, they make your hands dirtier after you wash them than they were before you washed them. According to a study conducted by TÜV Produkt und Umwelt, using paper towels to dry ones hands after washing led to a bacterial decrease on the hands of 24%, whereas the hot-air dryer led to an increase of 117%. This is like using a bug spray to fumigate your house leading to a 117% increase in the infestation. Or a food that made you 117% hungrier after eating it. These things are bacteria traps. One study even found that the air comes out so rapidly that the bacteria could actually be blown off the hands of person A, and become airborne, possibly contaminating every other person in the restroom. That's jacked up.
This isn't to say hand dryers don't serve a purpose.
I mean, just go on YouTube and search for "hand dryer fun" and see all the junk that comes.
p.s. There aren't any videos of people legitimately drying their hands.
Because hand dryers are worthless.
So, here's to hand dryers... they're like paper towels that burn fossil fuels!
-DW
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